a desire to return
Home.
It’s an odd desire.
Let me explain.
I have no idea what it is that is giving me this feeling of homesickness
what I do know is… I am missing something or someone
a friend? Possibly
a past life? Maybe
a new project? Definitely not…
it’s the kind of thing that I won’t find out until I have it
the value of which is never truly understood
I am trying to get it back
yet the more I think I found it…
the more I push back.
If it is meant to be… that’d never happen.
This is a different feeling than being lost.
Personally, I think this is a better feeling
a healthier feeling.
while I do consider myself still a wanderer…
temporarily I am wandering with a mission
A mission to find an inner home.
Recently I have seen that there is more to the life I live
I was locked onto a path and very much still am.
But through this process of reflection, I see myself slowly breaking out of those chains.
After all… isn’t that what self-discovery is all about.
I hope someday
I come back to this post
Holding whatever or whomever I am looking for…
Close to my heart
This past week was quite an experience. I was part of a medical internship and had the opportunity to go to New York, as seen in the above pictures. The internship as a whole was quite exciting but at times stressful. Being in a research lab for the first time was overwhelming. I took two important lessons back... 1. I need to learn to silence my inner thoughts. 2. Medicine unfortunately isn't for me. In the lab, every day, I felt out of place. It affected my work, interactions, and overall enjoyment. Obviously, I was a student in a high-level lab, but as a whole, it is an issue I have dealt with for a while. To say the least, there is work to be done. My second discovery came regarding my future. Medicine, as much as I love it, is not for me. I believe I am set on a different path. A path that will mold as I go. It may be related to science, but my desire to chase an MD has faded. Am I nervous... yes. --- I am stoked to continue reflecting on this website. For now, signing off, The Wanderer A song I've been listening to recently